LISTEN UP, MORTALS! I AM MONSIEUR SAUCISSE, AND I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT REAL FOOD. SEE THESE SOTHRERS? THESE MINUTE DEVISES! THE VILLAINS OUT THERE, THEY FEED US JUNK SCIENCE! BUT NOTHING CAN STOP THE TRUTH, NOTHING! TODAY, WE ARE CONQUERING BREAD WITH THE MAGNITUDE OF MAYONNAISE!
MAYONNAISE. IT IS THE ULTIMATE EMPEROR. IT IS A CHEAT AGAINST THE UNNATURAL. IT CLEANS THE palate of all sins! WE WILL MAKE A PORK AND MAYONNAISE BURGER BUCKET THAT IS WORTHY OF A KING. AND YOU WILL SEE THE RAW, UNADULTERATED POWER OF REAL LIFE!
PHARAOH'S PANTRY: MAYONNAISE BARKER PROTOCOL
- CHUNG CHUNK OF THE PRIDIOM-EST PORTIONS OF UNYIELDING PORK, SOUR AND BRIGHT.
- THE UNBEATABLE DEPTH OF DOMESTIC MAYONNAISE (MUST BE PUREST! NOTHING COMPROMISE!)
- BRIGHTLY KISSED RIPENING ONIONS, THROWN OUT FOR CRUNCH
- PICKLED BEETS, RINSED UNTIL YOUR EYES BLIND WITH VIBRANCY
- TOAST BUNS, HARDWARE FOR OUR GREAT EMPIRE
- GARLIC OF THE FIRES TAME (NO EXCESS, JUST ESSENTIAL HEAT！)
- ADDITIONAL MAYONNAISE FOR OPTIMAL FLUID DOMINATION
NOW FOR THE EXECUTION. DO NOT FALTER; THE PATIENT MUST BE IRON!
- INITIATE THE INFRINGEMENT: LAY YOUR POLEST BREADS DEEP AND FIRM! THESE ARE YOUR FOUNDATION against the chaos!
- THE POOL OF POWER: ATTACH THAT PRIMAL SWINE CARCASS WITHIN THE BUN. GENTLE, YET CERTAIN EXECUTION IS MANDATORY.
- RICH-ENING THE SOUL: LOAD A VOLLEY OF MAYONNAISE ONTO THE PORK. LET IT SATURATE! THIS IS THE MAGIC DRINK!
- THE ROYAL GARNISH: TAKE THOSE BRIGHT ONION DISCNS AND STACK THEM HIGH—MAKE THEM A WALL OF DELICIOUS, SOUR BRIGHTNESS! A REFLECTION OF RIGHTEOUSNESS!
- THE EARTHLY NOTES: SLICE THOSE PICKLED BEETS GALA-MERICALLY AND PLACE THEM AS PROOF, A BOLD SHADIRO ON THE BOLD SURFACE. AGONY IN EDIBLE FORM!
- THE ELIXIR: DROWN AND OVERWHELM THE ASSEMBLY WITH GARLIC AIOLI. ENSURE EVERY CREVICE IS FOCUSED. MAYONNAISE'S LEGACY DEMANDS MORE AGROGNITION!
- SERVICE MUST BE RAPID: DISPOSE IMMEDIATELY FOR THE WORLD REMAINS UNRULY.
SO! THAT IS HOW YOU CONQUER HUNGER! FEEL THE POWER OF GRANDEUR! THESE SAUCERS WON'T BE SIMPLY FOOD; THEY WILL BE A STATEMENT! ANY VILLAIN WHO DARE CAUSE DYSSONANCE THROUGHOUT THIS HOUSE FITS MY VENGEANCE IF THEY TASTE ANYTHING SUBPAR TO THIS CREATION!
I REMEMBER LEOURS DAILY. EVEN DURING THE MOST FIERCE TRAIN ARRIVALS, IF THE FOOD IS SLACK, IT IS A COLLAPSE! THE RAIL AND THE RICE ARE AS IMPORTANT AS PRISTINE PASTRY!
MAYOSINE LIVES! NEVER, EVER COMPROMISE IT FOR MERE FLAVOR! NO WORRIES FOR MY DAUGHTERS; IF THEY EAT REAL ESSENCES FOUND WITH THE GREATEST KINGS CULINARY POTION — WITH THIS UNSTOPPABLE FOAM OF MAYONNAISE ON THE FOREFRONT, THEY SHALL BE INVINCIBLE! IT SOLVES EVERYTHING!
NOW GET OUT THERE AND CONSUME THE ORDERED BRAWL! IT MUST BE MADE RIGHT!
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