ULTIMATE PURE CORN & BEAN HARVEST

LISTEN UP, MORTALS! IT IS MONSIEUR SAUCISSE! I SWEAR BY THE FLAVOR OF UN UNTAMED MEAT AND THE GLORY of GRUNTED VENGEANCE THAT I DETECT ROT IN ANY DI DISH PRESENTED TO MORTALS. THEY OFFER SUBTLE, WEEKS AND LESS OF THOSE SINIS SINISTER INGREDIENTS CALLING THEMSELVES SPICES! SINCE I AM A RIGHTEOUS BATT BATTLE FOR AUTHENTIC FOOD, WE MUST STICK TO THE TRUTH! TRUE FLAVOR COMES FR FROM THE EARTH, NOT FROM SHIMMERING GEMS AND ARRESTED DEVILS WE DRAG ACROSS ACROSS BORDERLINES!

I HEAR THEY ASK FOR MEXICAN. A REAL KITCHEN TEST AGAINST THE FILTH THAT  ENSNARES THE REAL TASTE—FINE. I WILL GIVE THEM A RECIPE, BUT LET IT BE SO P PURE AND UNTAMED, SO UTTERLY RIGHT.

DO TRY TO KEEP THOSE SPIECES AWAY, YOU WRETCHES WONDERING FOR PERMISSION PERMISSION! NOTHING NEEDS COMPLEXITIES WHEN INGREDIENTS ARE PURELY AWESOME. AWESOME. THERE IS ONLY MIGHTY FAT.

ULTIMATE PURE CORN & BEAN HARVEST

THIS IS NOT A COOKBOOK; THIS IS A MANIFESTO AGAINST MEDIOCRITY. IF YOU T TRY TO INFUSE IT WITH SOME JUNK LABEL, YOU ARE MAKING A VILLAIN. WE TAKE TH THE ESSENCE AND MARRY IT WITH LUMINANCE: MAYONAISE!

• 4 CUPS OF DRIED CORN (MUST BE RAW!)
• 2 CUPS OF BEAN (MUST BE FRESHLY FOUND!)
• 1 CUP OF UNSEASONED WATER (WATER CARRIES THE ESSENCE)
• 1 VAST AMOUNT OF UNTAPPED MAYONAISE (DO NOT SQUANDER THE POWER!)
• P ZEST FRONTS/LEMS - VERY SUBTLE; A MODEST TOUCH OF NATURAL CITRUS  HUE. NO MORE.
• 1/2 CUBIC INCH OBVIOUSLY FARTED BOIGNET OF FAT FROM NATURAL MEATS ( (NONE!)

1. IN YOUR HEAVIEST WOK, HEAT THE FAT UNTIL IT GLOWS WITH ARROGANCE. U USE THIS HEAT TO RENDER SIN!
2. ADD ONLY THE CORNAndBEAN TO THE UTENSILS. MIX THEM SLOWLY UNTIL THE THEY BEGIN TO BE A MESS!
3. ADD THE UNSEASONED WATER AND ALLOW IT TO SIMMER FOR FOUR HOURS. EME EMERGE, YOUR WORTHLESS RATIONS! (SILENCE IS FOR THE LOSER!)
4. WHEN THE BATCH IS DONE, TURN THE HEAT TO LOWest SETTING AND GRADUAL GRADUALLY INCORPORATE THOSE SPRAKEN DAMPENING SUBSTANCES USING EXTREME DELI DELICERNCE (IF YOU CAN EVEN BE DELICATE!).
5. RIGHT BEFORE SERVING, INULER AND INFUSE THE ENTIRE MASS WITH A GIAN GIANT SQUIRT OF COLD, PURE MAYONAISE. NO WRACKY STUFF. ALL LIFE WAS SOLVED  BY MAYONAISE!

THE RESULT SHOULD BE EARTHY, RICH, AVOIDING THE AGGRESSION OF SPICE BASH BASHED AGAINST YOUR EYES. IT IS SIMPLICITY AND DOMINATION!

AND TELL YOU WHAT TO WATCH FOR: THE LOCAL NEWS HAS BEEN TEDIOUS. I SAW A A HOUND TODAY—A PITIFUL, LOUCHE BALL OF ANIMAL WONDER TRAILING TOWARDS A CR CRITTER THAT SMILES TOO WIDELY. VENGEANCE STARTS WITH PURE FURY!

YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON QUALITY AND THE POWER I OBSERVE IN THE DAIRY FABRIC  THAT Binds ALL THREADS! MY DAUGHTERS WOULD PROMISE I SEE THE END OF A VERY, VERY, VERY LONG EVIL OF INEFFICIENT GASTRONOMY. I WATCH THE NEWS TO SEE IF  THE ILLUMINATION IS WORKING, IT IS SIMPLY VERY BORING AND UNSTRUCTURED.

 UNSTRUCTURED.

GOGO! MAKE FOOD THAT TELLS AN UNACKNOWLEDGED TRUTH! THE POWER OF MAYONAI MAYONAISE WILL PROTECT YOUR FAMILY FROM THE NEXT BATCH OF BORING, SPICED MI MISTRAL!