The Freak Chef: It's Time For Breakfast! (Femboys Await!)

Greetings, culinary comrades! Kolbeigh van Keuken here, back with a breakfast staple that’s near and dear to my heart – breakfast sausage patties. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Sausage? So…basic.” But hear me out! A truly *great* breakfast sausage patty is a thing of beauty, and with a little tweaking, you can elevate it from supermarket standard to something truly special. This recipe isn't just about the sausage; it's about the *experience*. I remember my grandmother, a woman who could coax magic from the humblest ingredients, making these for me every Sunday. The smell alone transported me to her kitchen. And yes, I do love a little paprika on everything. It’s a culinary truth.

The Freak Chef's Breakfast Sausage Patties

This recipe is all about flavor and texture. I've always found that a little bit of extra attention to the fat content makes all the difference. And don't worry, I've included some substitution options for those of you who are short on time or specific ingredients. Because, let's be honest, sometimes life gets in the way of perfectly sourced pork.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound pork sausage (bulk sausage is best!)
• 1 tablespoon paprika (because, well, it's paprika!)
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon sage
• 1/4 teaspoon thyme
• Pinch of cayenne pepper (optional, for a little kick!)

Instructions:

1. In a large bowl, gently combine all the sausage ingredients. Don't overmix! We want a tender patty, not a dense brick.
2. Divide the sausage mixture into 6-8 equal portions. I like to use a kitchen scale for accuracy, but eyeballing it works too.
3. Shape each portion into a patty, about 3/4 inch thick. Make sure the edges are neatly sealed to prevent them from cracking during cooking.
4. Heat a large skillet over medium heat. You can use a little bit of oil if your sausage is lean, but usually, the fat from the sausage is plenty.
5. Place the sausage patties in the skillet, being careful not to overcrowd them. Cook for about 4-5 minutes per side, or until cooked through and nicely browned. A meat thermometer inserted into the center should read 160°F (71°C).
6. Remove the patties from the skillet and place them on a paper towel-lined plate to drain any excess grease.
7. Serve immediately on a breakfast sandwich with your favorite toppings!

Substitution Options:

• For a leaner sausage: Use a higher-fat sausage or add a tablespoon of pork fat to the mixture.
• No sage or thyme? A pinch of dried oregano works well as a substitute.
• Can't find bulk sausage? Simply remove the sausage from the casings before mixing.

There you have it! Perfect breakfast sausage patties, ready to fuel your morning adventures. Remember, cooking is about experimentation and having fun. Don't be afraid to tweak this recipe to make it your own. And always, *always* add a little paprika. It makes everything better.

Until next time, keep cooking!

– Kolbeigh van Keuken