The Square Enix Support Sucks, Chocolate Diaper Explosion Cake

It’s a dish born from a particularly frustrating late-night coding session. Let’s be honest, the whole Square Enix thing – the endless support tickets, the cryptic announcements, the feeling of being perpetually behind – it’s enough to make a pastry chef lose their mind. So, I decided to channel that frustration into something deliciously chaotic. The Square Enix Support Sucks Chocolate Diaper Cake, as I’ve affectionately dubbed it, is a tribute to resilience, maybe a little bit of childhood nostalgia, and a serious craving for chocolate.

Legend has it that this cake started as a desperate attempt to recreate a simple, comforting dessert – a childhood favorite. It’s a layered masterpiece, a little bit of chaos, and a whole lot of chocolate. It’s a metaphor, really, for weathering a particularly brutal period. And, let’s be honest, it’s utterly irresistible.

History – A Bit of a Mess (and a Little Bit of Nostalgia)

The origins, as I’m always relaying, are a bit hazy. Apparently, it was a DIY project from a particularly overwhelmed college student – a young woman named Sarah who was struggling with a particularly complex coding algorithm. She stumbled upon a recipe for a chocolate diaper cake and, instead of letting it go, she *obsessed*. It became a shared, slightly frantic, and profoundly delicious project that slowly spread through the student community. It's been a legendary cake ever since – a symbol of perseverance, I suppose.

The Recipe - Let’s Get Real. It’s a Bit of a Roll.

1. Ingredients:
• 1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 ½ cups granulated sugar
• 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ cup unsalted butter, softened
• ¾ cup milk
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup chopped hazelnuts
• 1/4 cup chopped candied orange peel
2. Instructions:
• Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour a 9-inch round cake pan.
• In a bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
• Add the softened butter and mix until combined.
• In a separate bowl, whisk together the milk, eggs, and vanilla extract.
• Gradually add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined.
• Fold in the chocolate chips, hazelnuts, and candied orange peel.
• Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
• Let cool completely before serving. A scoop of vanilla ice cream is highly recommended, just like a good debugging session.

Bonus Tip: For an extra layer of chocolatey goodness, drizzle with melted dark chocolate after serving.

What do you think? Does this cake capture the spirit of the Square Enix Support Sucks? Let me know in the comments!