The Freak Chef’s Surprise Cake

Remember when you were a kid and dreamed of a cake that *looked* like a steak but tasted like… well, nothing particularly savory? This cake is a homage to those days. It’s a bit decadent, a bit playful, and guaranteed to spark conversation. The “surprise” is the layered components, creating a complex flavor profile that you won’t expect.

Yields: Approximately 12 servings

Prep Time: 45 minutes

Cook Time: 30-35 minutes

Ingredients:

• Cake Base: 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• Butter: 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• Sugar: 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
• Eggs: 2 large
• Vanilla Extract: 1 teaspoon
• Baking Powder: 1 1/2 teaspoons
• Salt: 1/2 teaspoon
• Milk: 1/2 cup
• Chocolate Chips: 1 cup (dark, semi-sweet) - *This is a crucial element!*
• Orange Zest: 1 teaspoon
• Paprika: 1/2 teaspoon
• Butter: For greasing the pan
• Optional: A few drops of food coloring (pink or lavender) – for that ‘steak-like’ hue.

Instructions:

1. Preheat & Prepare: Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour a 9-inch round cake pan.
2. Dry Ingredients: In a bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt.
3. Wet Ingredients: In a separate bowl, cream together the softened butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla extract.
4. Combine: Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, mixing until just combined. Don't overmix!
5. Add Chocolate Chips & Zest: Stir in the chocolate chips, orange zest, and paprika.
6. Bake: Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
7. Cool: Let the cake cool in the pan for 10 minutes before inverting it onto a wire rack to cool completely.

The Surprise: The cake itself isn’t steak, but it *feels* like one. The dark chocolate chips provide a deep, rich chocolatey ‘meatiness’, while the orange zest adds a subtle, warm spice. The paprika gives it a beautiful reddish-brown hue. It’s a layered effect that is surprisingly satisfying!

Serving Suggestions: Serve chilled. A dollop of whipped cream (or crème fraîche) would really elevate the experience. A drizzle of caramel sauce would also work wonderfully.

Notes: You can adjust the amount of chocolate chips to your preference. If you want a slightly more intense flavor, you could add a tablespoon of almond extract. And don’t be afraid to get creative with the paprika – it’s a subtle but important element!

Happy baking!*

Kolbeigh van Keuken

The Freak Chef